NY

I used to think that I'm not much of a thinker. But now I know I am. Coz I can think myself into a headache. Hence it takes some willpower to avoid taking certain trains of thought that can lead one to a migraine.

Anyway as I stand at the brink of a new year, shall jus take a few moments to look backwards before gearing up for a new journey. Am thankful that at least this year's much better than the last. Have grown a lot closer to God, beginning to understand more about what it means to be in love with Him, but also unearthing a lot of disturbing things about myself in the process. Still learning to trust in Him and letting go of the many little demons that cling to me/I'm clinging on to. Learning to unburden myself unto Him, even life's little trivialities.

The year has also seen quite a bit of makes and breaks in terms of relationships among my friends, and given me some new perspectives about them.

Since this year's the landmark year of starting my first ever job, it also means that i've managed to amass the largest amount of $$ (which really isn't much, given my usual financial situation) in the course of my entire life. WHoa hooo!! K just a little cheap thrill.

Realised that teaching is really really really a lot tougher than it looks. And that ultimately, I may not be cut out for it.

Realised that I should try harder to be happy with myself.

.........................

So what next then? Will elaborate in the form of New Year resolutions. Though, by virtue of the fact that they are resolutions and hence will not be fulfilled.

- Pray more. And be disciplined about it.
- Sleep more.
- Organise more.
- Exercise.
- Drink and be merry.
- Be more firm with students.
- Do more housework.
- Practise the piano more.
- Socialise more and be happy about it.
- Smile more but less at students.
- Ill treat the piggy so she doesn't take advantage of me.
- Give the piggy more $$ to make up for the above.
- Appreciate my mother more.
- Remember friends' bdays.
- Give more $$ to charity.

And last but not least...LOVE more!!

Happenings...

It's been a cold cold Christmas. Not to mention extremely wet. Was a little taken aback at the news report about the extent of the flooding in the Thomson nurseries. Apparently, it was an unprecedented occurrence for the owners...must have been a heartbreaking experience clearing up years of hard work turned into trash overnight.

Caught a cold on Christmas eve...think the winds just got too strong and chilly at night. My nasal glands went into overdrive and i'm just thankful that I got these couple of days to rest indoors and get all the sleep I want...

Ended my one-year-plus alcohol ban a couple of days ago. Why? I dunno. I dun even really know why I started abstaining in the first place, but definitely not religion-related reason. First was wine (which I realise is my least favourite alcoholic beverage) at Black Angus (where the bill came up to an unmentionable amount), then some too concentrated vodka at a Christmas gathering...looks like i'm starting to toxify my liver again...

Since we are nearing the end of the year,

I would like to thank the Lord for:
- the two charismatic retreats-YISS and LISS which I attended in the middle of the year (which I believe played a big part in helping me start working life in a spiritual mode)
- the CHOICE retreats I presented at
- the friends I made in NIE and DHS
- the 2.2 month bonus (hehe)
- the laughter when I was down
- the assurances when I was lost
- the inspiration when I got discouraged
- the answered prayers of my friends

A small revelation...

For some unknown reason went to visit my old blog (2002-05) jus now...and was left with the impression that I seem to have lost quite a bit of my personality after leaving school. Like while I used to be able to adopt a humorous take on events, what I've got now is mebbe still some humour but laced with cynicism. And also I seemed a lot more cheerful, at least in writing. Now I'm jus...somber. While I was able to easily revel in the company of friends while staying on campus then, now I'm finding it hard to hold on to those same ties, without the shared experiences. Now everyone's enslaved by the demands of different professions, and even during get-togethers a new kind of wariness seems to have crept in.

Ugh why am I sounding so morbid...why do I always like to hold on to negative feelings about myself...I think I just have this natural masochistic tendency to capture and dwell on troubling stuff. A morose disposition...that's what I've got. I mean, there were so many wonderful moments of fellowship with people but I jus can't recall the feeling.

It's like, I think working life has dulled me completely...I need to break free!!

Pre-Christmas blues...hmmph

Celeb

Rights so here I am again...obviously lured here by my overexposure to the comp (my eyes!!...ugh...those eeky powerpoints)...to provide the bored reader with further insight into my thought processes over the past couple of days (my imagination is on overdrive - distracts me a lot during mass)

Haf been facing quite a bit of juicy tabloids lately (esp. after mom bought that huge copy of "U" Weekly or whatever it is called)...and the whole idea of the entertainment industry is appearing increasingly ridiculous to moi. I mean, if you are a celeb famous enough for ppl to care about when you go shopping for baby powder, then that must really mean that you have absolutely zero private life left. You're being photographed everywhere you go, you can't even find a moment to chill out somewhere without some joker popping out of nowhere with a cam. And even though you hate them for it, you need them to do it coz if they dun give a hoot about you that's when you start worrying about your popularity. Like, your ricebowl hinges on whether people like you, want to read mundane stuff about you. How...scary is that. Plus one's 人气 can be an uber volatile meter, like what Heidi Klum always says in every episode of Project Runway, one day you're in, and the next you're out. One wrong move (read: coach jumping by a certain Mr C) and your star plummets from the galaxies to below ground level. Ever seen Chicago? That's really contrived man...yet entertaining.

Discoveries...

Tis already going to be third Sunday of Advent. Which means less than two weeks to Christmas. Which means around two weeks to start of school. Oh how dreadful that my lovely pleasant dream is ending so soon...

Actually attempted to bake cookies today (since Christmas season is approaching and everyone does cakes and cookies at this time)...but I have to say my oven is a horrible disappointment. Think there might be something wrong with the thermostat coz the dang thing always causes my stuff to be burnt. Either that, or as my mother calmly pointed out, it could jus have been due to my ineptness at baking. I couldn't help but complain loudly about the injustices I've suffered at the hands of the oven, till mommy dear once again had to point out that I appear to have a very defeatist attitude towards failure. well it's not that I'm pessimisstic (spelling...grrr) but everytime I try my hands at baking I'm invariably reminded of how my lab research was like. No results, think real hard, try to reason something out, target one variable and change it, then cross fingers and carry out experiment. Fail again, cycle repeats itself. It's the same with baking. Too sweet, too soft, too hard, too dry, too wet...all involves troubleshooting.

Caught the cartoon Sinbad on channel 5. Turned out to be surprisingly entertaining, with great effects and good storyline. Went to check on its year of release - '03. What happened man..it just slipped by under my nose?? I mean, I always have an eye out for movies. Whether I actually watch them or not is another thing, but I like reading reviews. So turns out that poor Sinbad was a box-office flop, with critics blaming the use of hand-drawn figures for most of the scenes in the cartoon. Apparently, the world is gravitating towards CGI. Yewl. I still favour the hand-drawn stuff, gives a more authentic feel of a classic cartoon.

Whatever...

I'm compensating for my impending absence from the blogging world once term starts. Probably won't have much to blog about then...only material being stuff like...not another bad lesson, or, I forgot to mention this point during class/give something important to someone/collect this set of worksheets, or, I'm so tired today... Pathetic.

In one of my bouts of melancholy yesterday night bought two books as retail therapy (I love MPH)- The Inheritance of Loss (this year's Booker Prize winner yes I'm a sucker for award-winning books) by Kiran Desai (I really like to read her mother's works), and The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. The latter book was recommended to self by J on board the plane. Something about one demon writing to another or sth like that. Have not read either book. Becoz the sight of the SPA books is making me feel rather guilty.

Took some cat class kids (4 to be exact) to catch a movie. Turned out they had watched most of the watchable ones, so in the end had to settle for Deck the Halls (gulp). Now I'm real picky when it comes to shows so I was beside myself with angst when I had to say the movie title to the ticket person. I mean, I eschew Christmas-themed movies like the plague. But surprisingly the show did provide some laughs at the beginning and the middle bits, though it fell into the usual cliched happy ending mould at the end. Teenagers nowadays really seem different from those during my time. Or was it jus that I was a pretty dull adolescent. Repressed and reticient. Some might say that I'm still like that. Ah well. Hanging out with them makes me feel oooold.

Have been planning to make the long-postponed trip back to school tomorrow...but I'm getting a little...reluctant.....UGH

HP and Part III

The dentist tells me that my teeth move at a speed that's higher than average. He proceeded to talk about it being a good omen, but I was jus secretly hoping that it didn't mean that they will take a very short while to move back into their original (crooked) positions once the braces are off. *fingers crossed* Well anyway I got light green bands for a change. Not too bad.

Current entertainment: If you are an avid reader of Harry Potter books then it might be highly entertaining to visit one of the many fan sites (e.g. Leaky Cauldron and MuggleNet) and take a look at the furore of speculation surrounding Book 7 - from its title to how Voldemort will be killed. It can get very hilarious coz it's like this massive brainstorming session where all kinds of random thoughts just pour out and reading some of them really made me chortle and bend over with amusement. I'm into this coz I just completed my second re-reading of Half-Blood Prince and it's quite intriguing thinking about what can happen next. Realised that I'm quite a fan of HP stuff compared to those around me...hmm...Yea well come to think of it JK Rowling's kinda like living the dream of a lot of people (including thy humble self) - getting published and not only that to achieve worldwide fame and riches. I doubt she ever even dreamt of it herself. What a fantasy.

So...I need to get on with Part 3 (finale) of Taipei trip, before the details slip my mind completely...

Note to self: Never again take part in guided tours around Taipei. The only benefit I got out of it was that I managed to catch a few winks in the coach to salvage my sleep-deprived body. Went Martyr's Shrine (it does have this awe-inducing aura about it) --> Jiufen (now this is a real nice place but our time there was limited and to cap it all off, it rained. Chilled to the bones coz we were at a rather high altitude, but still nothing beats top-of-Eiffel-tower experience) --> Miramar Ferris Wheel Mall (yes there was a huge ferris wheel there) --> Beitou hot spring (I was the only one who opted out, and Ig and J came out looking rather choked by the steam) --> Shinlin Night Market (a real disappointment I must say coz it looked like it was starting to evolve into XMD - din even bother to take pics there but I must say the food section wasn't too bad, din not appear as er, unclean as the other night markets) ...then last stop was Huaxi Night market (where I got this cute bag for a mere S$5, and found out later from mom that she saw a similar one that costs $24.90 in bedok?? unbelievable. Ventured into seedier regions where they had shops selling sex toys and inflatable penises, complete with little tots sitting in the shops. As in, real little kids, not that they are a part of the toys :P. Also worth mentioning is the sight of a partially-gutted snake hanging from a binder clip and writhing furiously, its tiny bean of a heart laid out for display and still pumping steadily. Quite terrible)

Yep and we woke up at a very disgustingly late hour of 10 am the following morning, and only had time to take a look at Taipei 101 from a distance, and also roamed around Eslite Bookstore a bit, marvelling at, once again, the variety of cute stuff on display. For the first time in my life I saw Tintin merchandise for sale. Darn cute manz. Love the stuffed Snowy...Then there was the fascinating automated toilet seats which moved at the touch of a button, and..get this - seats that warm themselves up so that our poor butts dun suffer the chill of cold ____ (whatever material they use to manufacture toilet seats). Really man, gotta give it to the Japanese (it's Japanese-owned i think) for creativity. Not that I think my butt needs it, in fact I think it may even be the most resilient part of my body. The most cushion, you know..ahem ahem.

During return flight started fantasising about living in Taipei (the quitter monster rears its ugly head), and checking out the mountains and stuff. Would really love to do that. On my next trip there. whoa ho!

Hmmm...

Post vacation and I'm spending all my free time in front of the comp. I'm an addict. Am supposed to drop by the newly opened Ikea branch in Tampines today but as mommy is fast asleep I shall take a while to post my latest neuronal activities.

Was blog-surfing a little and it's jus an eye-opening thing to read stuff about people who lead such different lives from self. Can only blame it on sheltered cocoon of an existence and narrow perspectives. In other words, my reality is really horribly boring that's why I'm constantly dreaming up stories for myself. But I did get a little inspiration from those smart commentaries I read so all that got me thinking a bit. Oh and another point I wanna make - I dun understand why people are often always so cynical about things, especially in their blogs. It may not be an accurate thing to say that it reflects their thoughts totally but it certainly does give that impression. Actually i used to be Little Ms Cynic myself but I've toned down a lot when I realised it affected some of the more sensitive souls around me. But now and then the evil tail whips itself out.

One of the issues that's weighing on my mind currently is the fact that the young actress playing Mary in The Nativity Story is pregnant herself at age 16. Besides the heavy irony of the whole thing, especially since pre-marital sex is not allowed by the Church, I just can't imagine being pregnant and having to raise a kid at sixteen (even though that was probably Mary's age when she had Jesus). I'm gradually coming round to the idea that pre-marital sex is a lot lot more common than my naive mind thinks, and that the idea of sex being sacred and that it should only be carried out in the context of marriage is like, outdated or something. Thankfully Singapore is still rather conservative but already that is changing. People who "dare" to stand up and talk dirty and stuff are becoming subjects of some degree of fascination, not to mention controversy. Think we're like trying to tighten the chains on this monster that's already stepped out of its cage.

Take education for instance. In my time it would have been quite unthinkable for my peers to be engaging in PMS, but ten years down the road, in the context of the same (traditional, conservation Chinese) school, I'm being told as a teacher that it is a possibility among the kids. And what are the reasons that we use to discourage them against it? Same as what I saw on a large poster in a Taipei MRT station - beware of the consequences - pregnancy, social difficulties and so on. No doubt these are very important and serious issues to consider, but I just somehow feel that it overshadows the real issue at stake. This is analogous to a debate on abortion that I did with my sec 2 classes. There was a cluster of students who were vehemently against abortion as they regard it as murder, and there was an equally insistent group who argued about the consequences of having a disabled child or a child out of wedlock. To the former pro-life group, the socio-economic reasons cannot take precedence over the fact that every child is a gift of life. To the latter, they want to make the choice for the unborn child after weighing their options.

What is the key notion behind the abortion debate? That every child is a gift from God, and that no one has any right to decide whether the child lives or dies except the Almighty. What is the key notion behind the PMS debate? That sex is a culmination of the union of love between man and woman, that procreation is a sacred duty of a couple in marriage. If one believes in the sanctity of life and sex, then the consequences need not be used as a deterence for PMS or as a defence for abortion. It is because this sanctity has been corrupted in society, that family structures and relationships are crumbling.

To me, religion is the most powerful force in education, but we live in a secular state in a secular world. What can define the moral underpinnings of society?

****
Well I did go on a bit there...jus attempting to articulate my thoughts. Feel like picking up a good book on ethics all of a sudden.

台湾之旅 (II)

(am waiting for Mr Ig. to put up his pics which are way better than mine so until then...no visual support for watever follows)
Day 2 of adventures in Taipei

After numerous trips to the reception counter asking for directions, we finally settled our itinerary for the day. Simply put, it was: TianMu --> Danshui --> Fisherman's Wharf --> Raohe Street Night Market.

One good thing that came out of our slightly messed up itinerary was that it meant that we did not have to miss Sunday mass. Ig had found a church from a website, which was located somewhere in between the Zhishan and Mingde stops on the MRT. There was no indication of the mass timings on the site (that being not an uncommon trait of Catholic churches - lax in updating internet sites) so we had to dash for it and hope that we were in time for something. Made the error of choosing to walk instead of taking the bus (No.220), coz we were heading for 中山北路七段 from 中山北路六段, which turned out to be a very very long stretch of road. Thankfully we just had to keep walking straight (uphill) till we reached the Mother of God Church (No. 171 on Zhongshan North Road, Section 7). Was grateful for the view of the mountains on the horizon (that's a rather common sight in Taiwan btw, isn't that just fantastic) which kinda kept me going on our arduous journey to church. After a good half hour of brisk walking, we stumbled onto the steps of 天母教堂, and by the grace of God, were just in time for the 10 am mass.

It was a very tiny chapel (by Singapore church standards), and mass was mostly attended by Caucasians (Americans, judging from the accent), presumably all expats living in Taipei. I've read somewhere that Tian Mu is the congregation point for expats so there are quite a number of international schools in this area. Shall note that that was my first time attending the First Sunday of Advent mass in another country. That's the cool thing about being Catholic - mass is celebrated in the same way everywhere else on earth. =)

After mass the trio took a bus back to Mingde station and chugged along to Danshui (淡水), a famous attraction on the north coast of Taipei. It's a nice cosy seaside town with lots of alleys lined with shops selling foodstuff. Randomly picked a stall selling beef noodles, which was so good that it basically rendered our stomachs incapable of consuming anything else. The most fun stretch is the row of stalls lining the coast, where one can play cute pasar malam type games (e.g. throwing hoops to "catch" porcelain ornaments, shooting at balloons, dunking basketballs), browse through a wide range of trinkets and keychains and pins and whatnots found in quaint little shops, or just sink your teeth into grilled octopuses, sausages, and oversized ice cream cones. Found a ferry (it's quite cheap, only NT100 (S$5) to and fro) to Fisherman's Wharf and spent the evening there, chilled to our bones from the sea breeze, and missing out on the famed sunset scene coz the sky was too cloudy.

Decided to head to the other end of the MRT line (Houshanpi 后山埤）to visit Wu Fen Pu 五分铺 and Raohe 饶河 night market, a less famous counterpart of Shilin 士林 night market (of which I will elaborate upon later in my next post for Day 3). The former comprises of this large network of streets lined with shops selling a variety of clothes. As expected nothing was relevant there as it was winter season, so we just walked through it till we reached Songshan Railway Station and found the night market across it.

Raohe is not very big, just one street long, pretty cramped with food stalls lined up tightly in two rows in the middle and clothing stores at the side. Unfortunately for moi I was very bushed and near collapse at that stage, but it was still very fulfilling to sample the food and get bargain deals for cute merchandise (it's a girl's haven la). The place rates high on atmosphere and also weighs heavy on one's olfactory organs coz there's a pervasive smell of 臭豆腐 every couple of metres. Found it nauseating so din muster any guts to try the offending source.

Embarrassing episode: Now you will find that if you're a Chinese conversing in English in TW, stares will come your way coz ppl there all speak Mandarin/Hokkien. So there I was rumaging for a wallet of my choice amongst a pile of boxes, and discussing (rather loudly) with J my preferences for wallets, when we noticed this lady staring at us and laughing. She came over and I think she was very amused to find that we could speak English and understand their 国语 at the same time. And throughout my wallet search she and her workmate were just beaming at me with amusement in their eyes. Felt rather uncomfortable with attention so hastened my search and ran off after paying.

Returned to XMD and to comfort of hotel. Now if you're looking for a good 3-star hotel in Taipei, then Rainbow is a good choice. It's a three-minute walk from the Ximen MRT station and has very helpful staff (So helpful that I jus had to get them a box of chocs to thank them before we left). We had a comfortable spacious room for 3 and had all we needed. The water boiler was especially appreciated, and we thought it was a nice touch that the cleaning lady actually rearranged our scattered toiletries in the bathroom. ^_^

台湾之旅 (I)

I've realised that everytime I travel to a place abroad, I will unconsciously start to assess the possibility of long-term residence in that particular country. Have come to conclude that these might be indicators of my "quitter" mentality (re: one of the several terms coined by our ex PM). But it's not that I dislike being Singaporean, in fact, I am very grateful for being born and bred here. I just have something against the weather in the tropics. The heat and humidity really takes a toll on my physical and mental well-being (and I don't really take too well to air-conditioning either). Which explains my constant desire to get away from it all.

So one of these getaways found me on a JetStarAsia flight bound for Taipei.


That was my first time taking a budget airline. Twas kinda cramped and extremely compact - two columns of three seaters and a narrow aisle in between. Really felt quite bus-like, including the fact that the main cockpit was actually visible (from where we were seated) and only separated by us by a door. All the basic amenities are provided, together with a handful of crew members (some of whom seemed rather, er, fierce). Got an aisle seat so had a nice view of the clouds outside, which was rather magnificient. Beside me sat a rather flustered J who was busy distracting herself with reading and sales catalogues and accompanying her was a sedate Ig. Spent a good quarter of the time snoozing away, then a couple of hours away from Taipei (the whole trip spans 4 hours), started getting bored and that was when Ig gave me the story puzzle (you know, one of those mind-boggling thingys that present a scenario and you gotta somehow work backwards to figure out all the events that led to it).

Me (with lots of dramatic flair and perhaps some comedy): .........and that was how he ended up killing himself after eating the sandwich.
Ig and J: Kekekekeke...(giggling mightily)
Lady in front (turns around and says in Mandarin): Can you please talk more softly?
Me: Oh, er, sorry, sorry...
Lady: You talk very loudly you know.
Me: Oh, sorry, sorry...
(Short pause)
From this point on, everything is carried out sotto voce...
Me: Ugh it's so embarrassing when we become a social nuisance..
J: That's a nice term...haha...
Ig: Hey anyone got cotton wool?
Me and J: ?
Ig: So you can, you know..(makes plugging motion into ears of lady in front)
Lady turns around and stares. Ig freezes. Then three people behind lady collapses into muffled giggles part I.
(Short pause)
Me: Hey anyone got a sweet?
Ig passes sweets around, *rustle*...
Me: Hey maybe we can, you know...(motions the sweet to lady in front)
Ig: Oh do you mean...(sticks a sweet in lady's direction)
Lady turns around promptly. Ig freezes. Then three people behind lady collapses into muffled giggles partII.

***





Ok I jus needed to record that incident above coz it was really really funny. Especially when you've got three 24 year olds behaving like pre-schoolers. Shall end off this plane anecdote with a couple of cloud pics, which really downplay the radiance of everything but nevermind..

Upon arrival at CKS airport, was whisked off to Rainbow Hotel by a small van. Walked towards hotel feeling guilty about not tipping driver, but soon forgot about it when confronted by the throbbing vibrance of a Saturday night in Ximending. Shops and food galore! But be forewarned- prices of goods there are severely jacked up, and there's a good ninety percent chance of finding the same thing in another street market at half the price. Though I did get conned into buying a Hello Kitty pouch...drats.

Many would probably have heard of the famous "Ah Zong Mian Xian" in Ximending, and yep that was where we went for our first meal in XMD. The first slurp of the world-renowned noodles is not really as sensational as expected, but there is just something very tasty about the combination of shredded mian xian, pig intestines (I think, coz there isn't much of the intestine taste) and thick savoury soup heavy with vinegar and pepper. Absolutely lovely for a cold winter's day.

Everyone stands around the stall slurping the mee in small bowls.

First night in Taipei was spent appreciating the sights and sounds of XMD, before returning to the hotel and receiving the rude shock that our guided tour was planned for the third day of our trip, not the second that we expected. So had to do last-minute planning, details of which will be explored in my next post...

I'm approaching the oasis...

As I stumble along the vast barren plains, eating and breathing the sand that penetrates everything, I mutter a silent prayer. There is nothing on the horizon, nothing as far as the eye can see. Is this it? Have I trudged through six months of desert, only to encounter more of the same? My head spins, and I will myself not to fall. I catch sight of something, an anomaly in my unchanging field of vision. Could that be...?

***

Yes it is!! A long-awaited vacation to the island now most famous for its "seas of red" on the streets. And not to mention the food glorious food!! Finally I can get to taste what the 食字路口 people munch on. I dunno if it's coz i'm a local here or what, but I just dun think we offer a very large variety of food, I mean, not so much a food paradise as it's made out to be. Of course I stand by my bedok hawker centre cuisine, and when I was in France facing varying combinations of chips and XX (choose from fish or chicken) everyday, I really missed local food. But anyway, back to TW.

Found a good place online for those who are planning their own trips...www.tripadvisor.com. The forums are managed by local experts of the particular country who are extremely detailed in giving advice and tips. V. helpful site.

If i'm in the mood, will blog bout it when i return...

So...happy holidays to all my friends who are venturing abroad, and to the rest of the no-lifers (=p look who's talking)...enjoy rainy Singapore. :D