A small revelation...

For some unknown reason went to visit my old blog (2002-05) jus now...and was left with the impression that I seem to have lost quite a bit of my personality after leaving school. Like while I used to be able to adopt a humorous take on events, what I've got now is mebbe still some humour but laced with cynicism. And also I seemed a lot more cheerful, at least in writing. Now I'm jus...somber. While I was able to easily revel in the company of friends while staying on campus then, now I'm finding it hard to hold on to those same ties, without the shared experiences. Now everyone's enslaved by the demands of different professions, and even during get-togethers a new kind of wariness seems to have crept in.

Ugh why am I sounding so morbid...why do I always like to hold on to negative feelings about myself...I think I just have this natural masochistic tendency to capture and dwell on troubling stuff. A morose disposition...that's what I've got. I mean, there were so many wonderful moments of fellowship with people but I jus can't recall the feeling.

It's like, I think working life has dulled me completely...I need to break free!!

Pre-Christmas blues...hmmph