Loss...

Yesterday the little piggy received news that her friend had passed on suddenly. She has known her since JC, and were pretty close. Even though I've never met this friend, I've heard her name mentioned several times over the years. I think she was quite ill at one stage during JC (that did not stop her from achieving top grades), and thankfully that passed. But calamity had to strike again.

What's it like to lose a friend - so young, so suddenly.
To have her life cut short just like that
To experience something that most of us will not go through till many years later
To go without managing to say goodbye to family or friends
The number of things she has yet to achieve, will achieve
What could have crossed her mind during those final seconds?
Did she know...?

While life goes on for the rest of us, hers, once on a similar track, has taken a separate path.

I think the piggy has had to deal with a number of setbacks and emotional upheavals in the past year...just hope that she will, like our blessed Mother, ponder these things in her heart and grow from her experiences. Thank God that she was at the rally yesterday...the power of the Spirit will prevail.

More lamentations...

Working life has little to offer in terms of fulfilment. I mean, they always say that teaching is a very fulfiling job when we find ourselves "making a difference in the lives of our students". But am not feeling it. Or, mebbe I have not found it? I'm not opening my eyes wide enough? See it always boils down to being hard on myself. Which ultimately originates from low self-esteem, yadayada. Tendency to be blind to the good things that I do/might have done.

Am leading a very cloistered existence of home, school, home, work. Is of course totally abominable in the worldly social sense but really, it doesn't bother me as much as it should I suppose. The other day was in a mall, passing by all those shops with sales, etc., but totally could not muster any interest in clothes or whatever. It's been very very long since I bought any piece of clothing for myself. Too pampered by mother.

Can't help wondering how would I be coping if I were in another kind of job. Life as a beginning teacher is really one of the toughest experiences I can possibly have. That's why really have admiration for teachers who are good at what they do. Not a simple thing to just sail into class and teach and engage and inspire.

There's actually some watchable stuff on tv tonight (Superstar finals, Sing-Thai soccer fight), but I choose...Microsoft powerpoint over them. Woohoo!!

Ramblings...

Every now and then I have a post title as the above. Happens when I wanna write lotsa random thots down and can't think of a suitable title linking them. (But hey hey hey...I'm still able to blog...which means...by some miracle am still alive in spite of cumulating workload)

Right now am still feeling huffy over encounters with form class in sch. It was not so long ago that I realised that disappointment with people is the one thing that can really get me down. And I think that bunch of people is seriously about to scramble over the fence that leads into unfriendly teacher territory. Or is it that I'm over-reacting about not having my expectations met? I was really really about to boil over in the lab today but I tried hard to control (I think I will look ugly if i really blow my top)...leaving me with some brewing p*** that should ideally be released somehow. But it appears to be contributing to my atherosclerosis instead.

Anyway...on a slightly different note...

This show that's ending its run on channel 8 - called the Peak or something, is quite interesting in the sense that it's all about not making your first choice in life (or more specifically, love). It's like, the leads in the show are all unable to be with the ones they really like, but somehow end up choosing someone else. Not settling for, but actually making the choice. And like I was discussing with the piggy, it's quite reflective of real life coz we often dun get what we want. But rather, God will give us what's best for us =) haha...some epiphany.

***

And in a rarely seen bout of patriotism...
~ let's hope Singapore can survive the Thai onslaught come this Sunday~