I told the kids to write a blog entry bout how they are feeling and their thoughts about the new term. I ended up getting stuff like "Hope the new Bio teacher is good", "Hope my grades for bio will improve", "maybe there is hope for bio after all". Good going kids, lotsa hope there...but for the teacher....*stress*

Has only spent two days at work, but it already feels like eternity...hoho...

To God: Help I need the mental strength...

But strangely, dun feel very stressed...unlike those practicum days. Guess the presence of an assessor makes all the difference.

Am feeling more "de ming" than ever...strange...

Right now, am jus hoping to survive monday.

Tiredness prompts me to zone out in front of the comp.

In the past, I zoned out during staff contact time. Just now, I zoned out from being overwhelmed at the plethora of dates and events that were unleashed upon us.

Will have to learn how to live (and think, and educate, and love, and care, and socialise, and plan) on 5-6 hours of sleep a day.

Plant nutrition...oh why are they still at plant nutrition??

Heard a sharing bout how RI does their IP programme for Bio. Was completely awed. So the limits of our curriculum can be stretched to such an extent. So this is what critical thinking is really about. For a brief moment, I wanted to study at RI...

I realise I can end up sounding like some damn bigot when I'm talking about religion. Really need some self-evaluation about beliefs, principles, prejudices, etc. But it did dawn on me that since I'm someone who's not by nature very loving or virtuous, I need religion to make me a better person...

又是一个。。。

去学校有时会是件劳累的事， 所以每回家就会变成床上的死猪。我真的需要无限的精力。

回去德明，虽然有朋友表示没有挑战性 （！）， 也有人说会有点沉闷， 但我始终认为 - 能够再度沉浸在华族传统文化与习俗中，何尝不是件好事？

有时觉得自己太过习惯活在自己的世界里， 很容易忽略别人的需要。

觉得最近本地电视连续剧的剧情开始偏于大胆的题材 - 譬如我正在观看的九点“重头剧”， 里头的宋怡霏饰演个变性人， 她/他千方百计想杀郑斌辉。 在最惊险的一幕， 她/他竟摊开双脚 （当时宋身上穿的仅是一件上衣和内裤），激动地问郑她哪里不像女人。这一幕应该不太适合播放给年轻一辈吧。。。

今天是大长今最后一集。。。她女儿好可爱哦！ 幸福家庭的一幕总是最可贵的。
其实大长今这部戏，虽是典型的韩国阿嫂剧，但也能学习不少做人的道理。 长今待人处事都是以最真诚，谦虚的态度面对。 从不发脾气，才貌双全却从不傲慢， 被赞美也只是含着笑容， 默默接受。 她那锲而不舍的精神更是令人敬佩。 她只是死板了一点，又缺乏幽默感。我在想- 长今这类型的女子会吸引男生吗？ 男人是肤浅的。。。哈哈。。。其实我本身也是挺肤浅的。。。外表是很重要的哦！ 哈哈，好啦，我有点缺乏睡眠了。。。

I'm in love with...

~the sky before it rains~
~Meiji products~
~good books~
~seeing people get better~
~moving stories~
~walking around the deserted roads ofNUS by myself~
~making people laugh~
~having a good conversation~
~the food in Bedok interchange hawker centre~
~watching cats lounge around~

But most of all, I'm in love with God...without whom the above will not even exist...

Have you ever had the experience of...
asking for new tongues and getting them immediately?
asking for a sign and getting slain?
getting healed unexpectedly?

I never really wanted to go for the YISS...but His will was a bit too strong to resist...and I could not be more wrong about how things would turn out. God is beautiful...

This is what I do nowadays, when the hours are long and the entertainment is short...

A little bit of history...

Thanks to the good grace of the Malaysian TV network (even though my dad informed me that there was some intentional scrambling of the signal from their side thus resulting in a fuzzy display) and to my opportune switch of channel, I, the cable-hungry soul, finally managed to catch a match live on mainstream TV. Woohoo!!

So, Korea vs Togo. Wait, To-what? This is like the first time self has ever heard of such a place. You see, one of the perks of the World Cup...one gets to learn some geography. Otherwise, would never have known that Angola was actually colonised by the Portuguese for four hundred years (!! that's like, several generations), or that Togo is actually a country in Western Africa, and a former German colony. In-ter-esting...

The Reds were slow to warm up, despite having had high hopes pinned onto them, and the lanky Togolese actually managed a first hit into the net. Still the Reds chugged along, till this pivotal point when their captain got sent off for preventing a potential goal-scoring opportunity. They got a free kick, Blondie took it, and the ball sailed into a path of victory. Have discovered that Koreans really thrive on national pride and spirit, and well, almost the entire stadium was glowing. A little sad for the disadvantaged Togolese, but still, they are not bad as first-timers. All in all, enjoyable =) .

***

I realise that I tend to procrastinate when it comes to doing housework. Which is bad coz if I dun do it, then my mother would just automatically finish up the job. Which kinda defeats the whole purpose. Ugh Ugh.

There is something particularly magical about the witching hour, the period when the powers of the occult reaches its pinnacle...and that is also the time when the blogging urge starts up.

It's the whole nostalgia thing again...reminiscing about the glories of old...oh!...ugh.

So, now I'm thinking about how creative I could get during the wee hours (3-4 a.m.) back in EA in good ol' NUS...rewriting songs, writing poems, squeezing out thesis bits, watching movies, playing brainless MMORPG (:P)...memorable times of languid decadence...

And also how...for the most part of last year...was feeling like total crap...being in a spiritual low...getting angry and pissed with surrounding people...getting jaded...frustrated at old hurts and wounds...

Now am at a point where I feel that God has rescued me from the depths of emotional struggle, comforted me with His assurances, affirmed me with the people He has placed in my life, and most of all, moved me with His abundant love... =)

***

~Lovely babes of NIE~
Watch out for them in your nearest Biology classroom

Soccer blues...

Was thinking, might as well indulge in this thoughtfest a bit more, since will prob. get little chance to do this come next month with the dreaded opening of school...

So, happened to be viewing the encore telecast of Sing. Idol just now, trying to prevent self from choking on the ba bao self was munching on, while listening to some not-so-fantastic renditions of some difficult songs. But erm, it wasn't really the singing that got to me. What really got my eyes rrrollin' were the smses that kept flashing at me throughout the entire show. I mean, it's kinda hard to fathom why people actually pay $0.60 to send something like - "Hi, I play Maple too!" to be displayed on national TV. Yea so that kinda reminded me that I was, ahem, once a Mapler too...who got stalled at level 31 despite having chalked up an impressive number of hours not eating, not sleeping, not studying, just zombiefied in front of my lappie. Ok so am lousy at games..

Right now, I wish for some cable. I dunno why, I'm normally not into football...am totally not interested in the EPL, and am more keen on the private lives of soccer players, rather than their lives on the pitch. But come World Cup season, I get a little more excited. Watching soccer can sometimes be such an emotional roller coaster. Will always remember this scene in my Sec4 Geography classroom eight years ago...when the Geo. teacher strolled in and flashed "France will win" on the OHP. At which the class violently protested coz the whole world was rooting for Brazil, and hello, who's France? But as one would have it, the unexpected happened and a new champ was born, only to be sorely trashed by uber underdog Senegal four years later. Well well...nostalgia again...

Taking stock...

Finally had my karaoke fix yesterday =) Felt ripped off by K-Box though...

Next week's the time for us BTs (beginning teachers - this island is overrun by acronyms) to take a brief holiday before school starts. That'll mean a) resting at home and churning out powerpoint slides, b) going for YISS, c) watching TV. *grinz* I like this life.

Tried to catch the opening match of World Cup yesterday...but jus could not keep eyes open...but by the half hour mark 3 goals were already scored by both sides...a bit mind-boggling...camera kept zooming in on Ballack, who was not even in the game...think he's got a rather hard look about him, what with the prominent jaw...he reminds self of Matt Damon, for some unknown reason. Ah well, still prefer the blonde Germans. =P

There's no food at home and am in no mood to attempt cooking. *starve..*

Waiting for pay increment to arrive...

memories...

A letter to NIE:

Dear Sir/Madam/beige concrete structure situated in the most ulu and unimaginably inaccessible part of Singapore,

On the eve of my last official day in the National Institute of Education, I would like to express my sincere gratitude, not so much for the tutorials and lectures that sometimes bordered on inanity, but rather, for the opportunity of socialising with...

1) the Bio n Eng peeps...the six of us...the only ones in the school with this odd combination of CSs...
~ P, with whom I can talk to about anything and everything
~ HL, a wonderful hang-out buddy and gossip mate
~ M, my snoozing mate on the MRT home
~ G, our da jie, who is always so steady in all she does
~ G, who is oddly charming with his fancy for spas and facials and totally metrosexual lifestyle

2) the Bio peeps in general...with the lovely, lovely girls (and sometimes the occasional XY chromosome being)...too many to name...with their absolutely quirky humour..I will cherish the laughter and crap we shared...

3) the Eng tut peeps...having gone through 3 very different tutors...having to adjust each time, and especially during the second semester~ during which our unity was so strong and so pronounced to all except one...and also special mention to my two chem friends T and Y...

4) the Practicum peeps...who have offered so much solace and friendship during the trying times of the practicum period. Even though I was a rose among the thorns, I was quite a happy rose...thanks to L, LH and SK...

5) the ubiquitous Fellow Trainee who is encountered during tutorials...with whom one can, at any point, on the basis of a shared identity and shared experiences, strike up a conversation.

I have to confess that those days were not exactly my happiest, for I had felt rather disillusioned and dejected at several points, and it was in no small part thanks to the above people that I have managed to somehow pull through and still manage a smile.

What can I say...teachers rock. =)

Teaching...

Got to know which classes I'm gonna teach. And *gulp*...there's Lower Sec Science...it's time to dig out P=VI (or sth like dat?!) from the recesses of my brains...please..synaptic connections...toughen up...

Realise that have been staying out for the past couple of nights...spending $$ on food + entertainment...and I finally bought that electronic piano I had been eyeing...I only hope it's worth my investment...er no, it has to be worth it...else my head will roll, while my mom's chopper awaits...

大长今 is getting more watchable...and the chubby pair of hands that chops up the food has been replaced by slender fingers...good. However, vivid scenes of the (painful) acupuncture process remains ..painfully vivid.
~~~

The most recent Choice has really helped me overcome some psychological hurdles and accept the reality in front of me. Though it is v. tiring doing the job as presenter and having to coax some sharings out of unresponsive participants, it never fails to force a stop to my emotional numbing, and reexamine those thorny issues in my life.

Imagine that you are about to jump down from a waterfall. The kind of fear and dread that seeps through you as you imagine the sheer terror of leaping from a great height into the unknown...and the ensuing exhilaration and joy as you hit the waters. That's where I am now-overwhelmed by the love of God. =D

遗失的美好

喜欢一个人， 一起过了美好的时光。。。因某原因结束了那段感情。。。但却始终觉得那个人才是最好的。。。也只好苦苦思念， 牵挂着， 无法忘怀。 现实，有时真的挺惨酷。 就是所谓。。。遗失的美好。

Had a ride yesterday in my dad's bike for the second time. Was not pleasant. First shock was administered when he practically crept up next to me without announcing his presence, I wasn't looking at his face so started to panic and develop fear that this man on a bike's about to rob me. Next had to perch self on a tiny strip of upholstery serving as a passenger seat and hang on to nothing but the seat while daddy sailed forth. Was practically hysterical with fright and kept muttering that "i'm scared, i'm scared...", while paternal being in front placidly informed self that even my mother could do it so why can't I. Tried to stay calm and remain steady (literally) but heart was really thumping and had to say several Hail Marys before destination was reached. Harrowing.

Watched X-men: The Last Stand. Not as entertaining and riveting as the second instalment. Too many special effects and insufficient interaction between characters. But I did learn one thing - That even if one has limitless power and potential and what not...it is useless if one cannot control it, and cannot find a purpose for it. That is why Prof X and Magneto remains the most powerful mutants - each has a goal and is able to harness their powers to achieve it.

Now if I were a mutant, what would be a nice mutation?
What a thot.