A Chapter in my Life

I always get hit by this incredible wave of nostalgia whenever I set foot in NUS. The winding slopes, the sprawling stretches of ugly concrete, the expressionless undergraduates trudging around with books and files in hand. Lately I've been back twice, just short visits, and it's like a brief journey back in time.

What was I thinking about then, I wonder...as I climbed the stairs to the central library...walked down (and up) the slope leading to LT32...looked up references in the medical library...passed through BizAd on Fridays...stared out my little two-pane window in EA...
NUS is a beautiful place at night, without the throngs of students and vehicles on the road. Sunday nights spent there gave me quite an experience of solitude. In the sheer silence of the emptiness, one's thoughts can be as clear as written words. I was all alone in my little enclave, and it was a strange bittersweet kind of feeling. For the first time I really understood what it was like to miss being with family.

Any regrets? Well I could have worked harder during my first two years, and I really should have stayed on campus earlier (my CAP was directly proportional to the amount of time I spent staying on campus). But those are just little stains on an otherwise brightly coloured quilt of experiences. CSS, cell-group meetings in whatever vacant room we found, long drawn Exco meetings in Holy Cross, Friday masses, varied adhoc comm meetings, random fellowship at the CSS corner, late-night jogging on the tortuous slopes of Arts and Biz, the post-jogging snacking, Fong Seng, Clementi hawker centres and Holland V, pubbing at WalaWala, clubbing at Zouk and dragging wasted friends back to school, praying the rosary together after cooking dinner at PGP, arrowing people to say grace during dinners, running into friends along the corridors...

Not forgetting my memorable final year - spent mostly as a deranged lab rat poking pipettes into microcentrifuge tubes in a remote corner on the fourth level of MD4. My crazy indulgences in clubbing and drinking, and later that mindless RPG MapleStory. The night I spent in the lab just before I submitted my thesis (and there was this other night where we decided to celebrate mooncake festival in style). The close ties I built with my fellow lab rats, trying to make the most of our mundane lab lives. I never had any lack of dinner companions in those days.

I guess I should have written this earlier. It's kinda like a delayed post-mortem. A tribute to my four years in NUS. And to the lifelong friends I've made there. In a way, I guess Uni life does rock.

Women and aging

Now doesn't that sound like an essay topic on sociology...

I realise that I've been unconsciously conducting my own very unprofessional field research on how women age. (I mean, given that in a few years time, or maybe even at present, it will be one of those physical issues that will be buggin' me) So I've been very observant of the ladies around me. Especially those with kids. Becoz, just like my mom was commenting the other day, women's looks can really deteriorate after childbirth plus a few years of childcare. I pay special attention to the mothers of primary school kids coz some of them really look a lot older than what I believe their age is. Unless the trend of later marriages is really as prevalent as it is made to sound.

I find the 30s to be the age range where the looks spectrum really stretches. Coz there seems to be several women in their 30s who look 10 years older, and several who look ten years younger...If I use celebrities as a benchmark (I know I shouldn't but they represent the highest attainable level of looks maintenance), then a lot of women must be reaching the "auntie" status a lot earlier than they should (!). How disturbing. But then again my research has no empirical data and is almost entirely subjective.

Yep and I do believe that women should give birth in their 20s...but at the rate that moi is going...yes I might end up as one of those old-looking mothers (ugh wat a term!!) when the time comes, that is..if it ever comes.

There's this couple I met when I was doing my weekend rounds as a Choice presenter. They are rather well-known in the local Catholic community coz they are both quite high-profile folks in the Family Life arena, going around giving talks to schools about sex and sexuality and related stuff. Dad's a doctor, Mom's a lawyer and they've got six kids. Six. And for a couple with six kids they really look damn good (rights this jus about confirms my shallowness). So...in a way I aspire to become like them. In a way. Of course it ain't easy doing what they do and I would definitely prefer teaching to poking at other people's wounds (that is a major issue I have with the medical profession) or having to memorise legal jargon.

Ah well, issues in life...

***

ABLAZE!

Was at the ABlaze Rally organised by the SACCRE (yes it stands for Singapore Archdiocesan Catholic Charismatic Renewal Experience, thanks to the valiant efforts of the MCs to drum it into us) groups. Great to see a large number of eager youths crowding into the hall (think they would need a larger venue next time) - and to have so many young Catholics getting together for a PnW session. I believe it's something that does not happen very regularly in our church context (with many of my friends professing a lack of affinity for PnW)...and it's just very revitalising and inspiring to be...so enthusiastic for the Lord using very tangible means. For it says in Psalm 147:1 - "How good to celebrate our God in song; how sweet to give fitting praise."

Immersing oneself in praise and worship is like getting enfolded in God's embrace...it's hard to describe the experience fully, but it will leave us with the conviction that God is in us, He is with us and He loves us. Praise to the Father for his graces!

I needed the reminder that as long as I put all my trust in Him, He will bring me through it.

May He continue to bless the efforts of SACCRE to renew and sustain the charismatic movement in our local churches...

***
3 more weeks to the exams...woot! Dun think I've ever felt this happy when the exam period approaches...=P

***

Your love is deep
Your love is high
Your love is long
Your love is wide

Your love is
Deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I've travelled
Wider than the gap than you filled

Who can separate us?
Who can separate us from your love?
Nothing can separate us
Nothing can separate us from your love

bleah...

I love attending courses.
There's free food
Free drinks
Free time
No students
No staff room
No running around
No standing for long hours
No sweat
Just obediently doing whatever the instructor tells us to do
After all
Teachers make the best students.

So the hols are here. Am currently at my most alert in weeks. Meaning I was zombie-ing around for most of last term. I must reiterate that my body ain't made for waking up at 5.30 am!! The gears only start cranking from 8 am onwards. That's why I dislike having first periods, immensely.

So, let me take stock of my life now. Am around 2 months plus into teaching as a profession, am starting to slowly get the hang of the hectic existence of a teacher, am beginning to understand why some people can't wait to quit, am trying to seek some balance amidst the craziness. There have been plenty of up and down moments with the kids, a few points where I really felt like crying, some high points where I couldn't stop smiling...am slowly learning to grasp the culture and the dynamics of each class, trying to guess at what students are thinking, feeling, saying...

I can see the road ahead...a deep commitment of time and effort to my work...a simple and quiet life at home...the rest of my time spent in church/ministry...mmm...not too bad...