More lamentations...

Working life has little to offer in terms of fulfilment. I mean, they always say that teaching is a very fulfiling job when we find ourselves "making a difference in the lives of our students". But am not feeling it. Or, mebbe I have not found it? I'm not opening my eyes wide enough? See it always boils down to being hard on myself. Which ultimately originates from low self-esteem, yadayada. Tendency to be blind to the good things that I do/might have done.

Am leading a very cloistered existence of home, school, home, work. Is of course totally abominable in the worldly social sense but really, it doesn't bother me as much as it should I suppose. The other day was in a mall, passing by all those shops with sales, etc., but totally could not muster any interest in clothes or whatever. It's been very very long since I bought any piece of clothing for myself. Too pampered by mother.

Can't help wondering how would I be coping if I were in another kind of job. Life as a beginning teacher is really one of the toughest experiences I can possibly have. That's why really have admiration for teachers who are good at what they do. Not a simple thing to just sail into class and teach and engage and inspire.

There's actually some watchable stuff on tv tonight (Superstar finals, Sing-Thai soccer fight), but I choose...Microsoft powerpoint over them. Woohoo!!